Last week, we celebrated funerals for five parishioners and Fr. Bill will be celebrating the funeral of his sister-in-law Marie this Tuesday. As we head into the holiday season, I wanted to share my thoughts on grief and the holidays.
From a young age, we have been taught that the holidays are times spent with our loved ones. Holidays mark the passage of time and are part of the milestones we share with each other. Life can be so hard sometimes especially around the holidays for those families coping with the loss of a family member.
While the rest of the world is singing carols and decorating trees, those who are grieving are facing a Christmas without someone they love and dreading its arrival. Holidays seem to magnify loss, the sadness deepens and the loneliness can feel isolating. There are ways to cope with grief around the holidays. Try the holidays in a new way. Grief has a unique way of giving us permission to evaluate what parts of the holidays we enjoy and what parts we don’t. Remember, there is no right or wrong way to grieve. You have to decide what is right for you.
· Be gentle with yourself. · Don’t do more than you want, and don’t do anything that does not feed your soul. · Don’t keep feelings bottled up and allow others to help. · If you have a friend that is grieving, don’t ask if you can help. Just help. · Pay extra attention to the children. Children are too often the forgotten grievers.
Advent is the season in which we prepare our hearts for Christmas. It is a season of reflection and repentance. During Advent, we are reminded to seek Hope in our darkest days. We can use the increasing light of Advent candles to help us remember that Peace comes from knowing that God can still find us, even in the midst of darkness. Joy can show up unexpectedly, not in the form of happiness, but perhaps in the form of gratitude. And Love is evident in those who support us and care for us.
Although unpleasant, grief can highlight what Advent is about.